The Low Down On Post-Avatar Depression Disorder, Alternately Titled Get A Life

Here’s one from the Now I’ve Heard Everything Department. Um, ever hear mention of Post-Avatar Depression Disorder, or PADD? That’s right. I just found a blog featuring a post about this Post-Avatar Depression Epidemic we were recently smack dab in the middle of.

Thousands of moviegoers are experiencing severe depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the James Cameron blockbuster film Avatar. Some have become so immersed in the film’s mythical land of Pandora, that they find themselves obsessing over it, and shunning the “real” world.

The claim is that the epidemic scare started on a number of conspiracy websites spread to CNN and other mainstream media outlets. After the recent world wide economic collapse we’ve experienced, who could be all that surprised about this wish to escape to Pandora, nonetheless…

Other moviegoers, according to CNN, have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race because of the film’s effect on them. Others report a total disengagement with reality. And another said:

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning. It just seems so… meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep… doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

I’ve never been as impressed by the movies I’ve seen as some of these people seem to have been taken with Avatar. I imagine it would help if we kept beautiful nurses in the closet. These guys and gals could come out every time someone got lost in their fantasies in this fashion to take a pulse. If that doesn’t work, maybe they’re better off in the movie theater anyway. She or he must be just another lost cause.

Perhaps this whole thing has something to do with the Total Lack of Imagination Disorder that has afflicted large segments of our population of late. Show a little bit of it and some searching people are just going find themselves at wits end. There are fascinating pieces of this world that some people have seemed to ignore, if it isn’t a case of those pieces of the world ignoring them.

The celebrated just love it when they have something to celebrate. It’s all just the big mansions, the wild parties, and the fat wallets or purses you offer to every God and Goddess of the silver screen, fool! Keep going. Somebody’s laughing all the way to the bank.

Adding to the bad news, Shutter Island, the latest in a long, long chain of brain numbing psycho-killer thrillers should be contributing to the stigma accorded to your new found disorder. You got it! Maybe a few more months in the sack are just what the quack doctor ordered.

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