Is There A Clown In The House?

Recently reality has become an issue with me. One can ask, for instance, whether clowns are real, and one can ask whether doctors are real. Clowns and doctors exist regardless of our belief in them. This is not the same as saying that clowns and doctors are real. Some doctors are clowns and some clowns are doctors. Other clowns are firemen. A doctor can be a real clown, and a clown can be a clown doctor, and there can still be some question as to which performs best under pressure.

A lot of people seem to have developed a faith in an imaginary ailment called “mental illness”. Some people say it’s all in the head, some people say it’s all in the brain, and some just throw up their hands in frustration. The people who say it’s all in the head tend to be clown doctors while the people who say it’s all in the brain tend to be doctor clowns. The people who call it quits are anti-clown-doctor-doctor-clowns. I’m not sure an ailment is the best kind of thing to keep around the house, but not all clown doctors and doctor clowns are in agreement with me.

When these doctors are psychiatrists, just as you’ve got you’re priestly caste, you’ve also got you’re congregation. This congregation is made up of mental patients and everybody else. Mental patients constitute a tiny but growing minority. Everybody else constitutes a large but dwindling majority. One can ask your mental patient whether he or she is real, and mean one thing, or one can ask your mental patient whether he or she is real, and mean another thing. Obviously real is a very flexible term.

It is possible to have clown mental patients. It is also possible to have mental patient doctors. This is proven. Mental patient doctors have written books, and clown mental patients have given performances. I believe it is also possible for everybody else to play multiple roles. Everybody else, for instance, could choose to be a doctor, or a clown, or a mental patient as well. You don’t need a degree to do this. A degree is a scrap of paper that hangs on a wall, and gives people swelled heads. Let the air out a little, and you haven’t done a whole lot of harm.

Everybody lives for retirement except perhaps the mental patient (or mental health consumer if you want to nitpick about the matter). You can’t retire from your role as a mental patient, it just doesn’t pay. Clowns retire, doctors retire, everybody else retires, and only mental patients don’t retire. This gives the mental patient an edge on the rest of them. Everybody else might be in the majority now, but mental patients are gaining on them. Someday the world will be in the incapable hands of mental patients. Some people claim the world is in their hands at this very moment.